You work long hours and she doesn’t feel you are there for her anymore. She spends all her time running after the children and you feel she does not have time for your needs. Can you get back your wife before the inevitable happens? Here a few steps you can take.
1 – Is the marriage worth saving?
First off, you need to decide whether the marriage is worth saving. While most relationships can be saved with hard work, both of you need to decide if you want to make it work. Because if one partner feels like letting go, then little can be done in learning how to get back your wife.
2 – Commitment:
Most people stay in a marriage because of the convenience or for the children sake. But that is not enough. Learning how to get back your wife starts with commitment from both of you to try save the marriage.
3 – Identify the core issues:
Next, you need to identify issue that have caused the marriage to break down. One of our biggest pitfalls is identifying the symptoms, instead of the underlying cause of those symptoms.
For example, many couples think an affair is the problem in the marriage, but it is merely the symptom from a much deeper problem. For instance, the affair could have been caused from a lack of intimacy. While most people look at a the affair as the reason for the failing marriage, they do not realized that it was spurred on from the lack of intimacy in the marriage. When you can identify the core issues, then you can work on getting your wife back.
4 – Share your thoughts:
Once you have identified the core issues, you need to start sharing them with your spouse. This means explaining your feelings, but also listening to how she feels. Even if your emotions are swirling, hold your wife’s hand as you discuss each others feelings as a sign that you want to get your wife back.
When your wife talks about things that hurt you, just remember that she is not doing it to hurt you, but because she wants to fix the marriage.
5 – Create an action plan:
Once all the problems have been discussed, both of you need to create an action plan to solve them. Then, you each need to take real steps on your action plan. For example, if you do not spend much time together anymore, plan a night out every week without the kids. And take turns coming up with creative, romantic ways to spend more time together.
If communication is the problem, agree to spend say 20 minutes before you go to bed just talking to each other. And stick to it!
6 – This is an ongoing process:
Finally, if you want to get back your wife, you need to realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process. There is always going to be laughter and tears as your relationship progresses. So being quick to apologize and slow to blame is the right attitude to have to keep a marriage working.