Breaking up can be an overwhelming experience for both of you. If you are the one being broken up with, my first piece of breakup advice is you need to control yourself when you get the news, to make the breakup as simple as possible.
You need to know that the breakup is not your fault. It is not anybody’s fault. Breaking up happens everyday to millions of couples around the world. It is just something that happens, so putting the blame on something or someone else will only make you feel worse.
My breakup advice is to just let it happen, don’t try stop it. Many people try put their partner on a guilt trip to convince them to stay together. This is the worst thing to do! It will never maintain your relationship, but instead create feelings of resentment in your partner and ruin any chances of even having their friendship.
It is normal for you to believe that you were the problem when the breakup happens. If you find yourself slipping into this type of break up depression, remember that it was not your fault. The break up happened because something was wrong with the relationship, not with you.
The emotions someone feels after a breakup vary from person to person, depending on how they handle loss. Many of us go numb and deny the breakup even happened. Eventually we become angry and frustrated, before depression sets in. Your depression can very from mild cases of crawling up in a ball to extreme cases of thinking of suicide. In extreme cases it is best to seek professional breakup advice and counseling.
Sometimes we immediately become angry, where we blame ourselves, blame our partner and everything around us. If you feel this way after a break up, do not worry. It is completely normal. But my breakup advice is that you need to express these feelings. Let yourself be angry, but make sure you do it in the appropriate way in the right setting.
Punching and screaming into your pillow is fine. So is crying on a friends shoulder. But whatever you do, DO NOT take your frustration out on your ex or their new lover (if any). Even if you feel they deserve it, your satisfaction will be short-lived, and you’ll end up looking pathetic.
So my best breakup advice is to be the stronger person. Let all of your sadness and grief out in a positive manner. Work through the situation with a close friend and remember that there is light at the end of what seems to be a never-ending tunnel.