If you’ve just gone through a breakup, you are probably trying to get over the person, or wanting to get back your ex. Neither option is easy to do, but no matter what you choose, you may find it hard to move on without wishing things could have turned out better.
Before you decide what to do, you really need to sit down and think about the situation, such as how things were and how they will be now. Try be objective – and you may just find that the breakup was actually a good idea.
If, however, you want to get back your ex, your first step is to apologize and then to forgive. You may think you have already done this, and you may have said sorry several times already. But if your ex thinks you were saying sorry just to stay together, they may think your apology was not sincere.
If you think you did something that led to the breakup, then apologize for it again. By saying sorry after the breakup, your apology seems more sincere – the breakup has already happened so you are not saying it to save it.
If your ex did something that hurt you, then instead of trying to get an apology from them, rather forgive them. You may never forget any wrong doing your ex did, such as cheating on you, but you must try to forgive them. Forgiving is much harder than simply saying “I forgive you”, so it is best to learn how to forgive someone and really mean it. If you are serious about wanting to get back your ex, this step will help a lot. And it may prevent future problems too.
If you do happen to get back your ex, a couple of months into the rekindled relationship, the same old issues may crop up again. If you have not truly forgiven your lover, then you will find it hard to move on. Old issues may resurface and one of you may get hurt.
But if you sincerely forgive him or her, there will be no need to bring up the past. And while you are forgiving your lover for whatever issues caused the breakup, go ahead and forgive them for the breakup too. This will release the tension between and you will save yourself a lot of grief later on.
Also, to get back your ex, show them the person they fell in love with, not the one who has just been dumped. They like being around you because of your good qualities, such as kindness and thoughtfulness, not because you were needy, angry, or hurt. While you may find it hard to hide the emotional pain, practice being pleasant, and you could get back your ex, by reminding them why they fell in love with you in the first place.